Arrow – S02E03 “Broken Dolls” Review

Week three of Arrow proved just how creepy things could get in Starling City with a homicidal maniac (broken out of prison) on the run and picking up where he left off. Dolls will never, ever be the same for me again. In fact, as I think about it, I’m still thoroughly freaked and creeped out.

Disclaimer: I use the word “creepy” a lot. Sorry for the redundancy.

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Dracula – S01E01 “The Blood Is the Life”

I don’t know where to begin with this review. I love this show and yet I find it utterly ridiculous. How about I just do a quick summation and go from there?

Summin’ it up: The one and only (not really since I’ve seen way too many movies starring the Prince of the Night) Dracula was having a nice nap while desiccating in a subterranean tomb when two very nice men decide that Drac needs to return to the world of the “living”. One of them kills the other, causing fresh Vitamin Blood to pour into Dracula’s mouth and awakening the mummified vampire.

A few years later, Dracula has reinvented himself as Alexander Grayson, an American entrepreneur, who apparently wants to wipe out the dependency on fossil fuels for powering energy. The elite British citizens mock him but this vampire is a cunning creature and he gives the guests quite the illuminating surprise. And, because Dracula is a petty person, he decides to kill one of the men who mocked him because, well, he can. Plus, he suspects that the deceased man is one of his enemies.

Who are Dracula’s enemies, you ask? The Order of the Dragon. They’re an old order and responsible for murdering innocent people under the guise of “cleansing the land of heretics”. One such victim was Dracula’s wife; she was burnt alive and Dracula was forced to watch as she died.

The lovely Mina Harker is a doppelgänger for Dracula’s murdered wife. Dracula takes one look at her and immediately begins planning a way to make her his. However, the very handsome Jonathan Harker is very much in love with Mina and I suspect that he won’t let her go without putting up some sort of fight. Prepare for a challenge, dear dead one.

Dracula is a very sexual creature as demonstrated when he engages in some downright dirty shenanigans with Lady Jayne in her opera box. (In case anyone forgot, her husband was the man Dracula killed.) I was a bit shocked that NBC would allow such a naughty scene but I’m not complaining. I’m not really a fan of Lady Jayne so that’s probably why I wasn’t digging the scene.

Lady Jayne also happens to be one of the members of the Order of the Dragon so I wonder if she’ll succumb to the Dark Prince’s sexual prowess and no longer want to murder him. Or, perhaps she likes because she wants to kill him. I haven’t quite figured her out yet.

I think the most surprising thing about the show other than the anachronisms was that Dr. Van Helsing not only is NOT trying to kill Dracula but also was the man who resurrected him in the tomb. It’s not computing in my mind. I’m going to go on a limb and guess that the vampire will do something to break their bond of mutual destruction of the Order of the Dragon so Van Helsing will then be the vampire hunter from the book and movies. Let’s face it, Dracula is very good at making enemies.

Verdict: I’ll be tuning in this upcoming Friday. Mind you, I’m a bit more interested in Mr. gorgeous Harker than Dracula.

TVD – S05E04 “For Whom the Bell Tolls” Review

I have a few more reviews to catch up on, but The Vampire Diaries killed it this past Thursday. Whenever I start to feel indifferent about things happening on the show, the writers find a way to hook me and bring me back. Before I spill all the spoilery details, I’ll shut my trap and let you all carry on.

P.S. You might want to have your tissues handy, guys.

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TVD – S05E03 “Original Sin” Review

This week is a two-for-one deal. Because I am shirking my reviewing duties a bit, I’m doubling down by giving all of you my episode 3 and 4 review of The Vampire Diaries. Don’t worry—I’m not in a funk, guys. I’m just juggling way too much stuff right now.

Excuses, excuses. I know. But I’m here now and I’m waving the white flag. P.S. This review was a wee bit lengthy, so I split up both reviews.

white flag

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Once upon a Time in Wonderland – S01E02 “Trust Me” Review

I’ve been putting off this review for so long that I have barely any recollection of the episode. I could watch it again but, to be honest, I neither have the attention span nor volition to do so. In this event, I’m just going to do a super short review and that’s all you’re getting out of me.

Quick, simple, and dirty:

Alice takes Will with her to find Cyrus’s bottle. It’s buried in a secret spot under some strange tree that I can’t remember its name. But, that’s not the real location and Jafar is hoodwinked by the Red Queen who told him where it supposedly was. Alice and Will go to the real dig site but, alas, someone has beaten them to finding it. The White Rabbit, forever the Red Queen’s bitch (in the book, he was her loyal servant), had stolen Cyrus’s bottle and gave it to her. Alice is devastated and concludes that she should just give up and go home.

However, the oh-so-beautiful Cyrus sends Alice a magical origami crane with a message. He loves her but she must go home. Alice is a woman in love and she has just gotten the encouragement that she needed to press on to find him. Bad move, Cyrus.

Points of Interest to Note: Jafar wants to break the rules of magic for some nefarious purpose. The Red Queen wants something also but it isn’t clear what that is. The White Rabbit is a bad, bad bunny for betraying Alice. Will was in love with a girl named Anastasia, whom I think is probably the Russian princess of lore. Will is a cad and had broken a fairy’s heart. Will also can’t swim. Alice learned how to sword fight from Cyrus.

Ending Thoughts: The show is all right but I’m not as enthralled as I want to be. I tried so hard. Tonight is a new episode so maybe there is a chance of me changing how I feel about the series. Right now, I’m more interested in what tomorrow’s premiere of Dracula will be like.